The Hiss Binder

All cell phone calls are recorded. There are several ways to encrypt telephone calls. One way is through software in the telephone. Since that is prevented by telephone manufacturers, an alternative has been invented. Your voice has a broad spectrum of audible waves, some of which can be called hiss. The invention uses that hiss to send encrypted messages.

The Hiss Binder is now βεινγ μανυφαcτυρεδ ιν α φαραδαξ cαγε ιν α βυνκερ ιν Κονα, Ηαωαιι. Ιτ οπερατεσ ον τηε ηυμαν ψοιcε το τρανσφορμ τηε ηισσ, τηε ηιγηεστ φρεθυενcιεσ οφ τηε ψοιcε, το εμβεδ α πρε-ρεcορδεδ σεcρετ μεσσσαγε. (Scholars who are familiar with the Greek alphabet are able to read that sentence in one minute. Members of the goon squad can download a software tool that can translate it back into Latin characters. That software tool is linked in the Summer 2010 issue of PopCryMag. It should take a goon about two days to read that one sentence, with help from a literate person of average intelligence.)

The Hiss Binder costs $60 when purchased in volumes of 50,000. The minimum order is two. Send your order to: . The pricelist is ащаилабле фор а шасч сеттлемент оф тчрее тчоусанд долларс.

The overview of the Hiss Binder is given here. A secret message is processed on your computer. A non-secret recording is played back on the computer when you make a cell phone call. The person speaks into a microphone on the computer. The computer digitizes and encrypts the secret audio in real time. The encrypted message is processed to sound like a hiss. That sound is combined with the non-secret message as follows: the secret message is coded into a hiss-like sound and is sent out in bursts when the public words are sent over the cell phone. The loudspeaker of the computer is placed by the cell phone's microphone so that public words and the bursts of hiss are audible at the same time. The encrypted hiss only occurs when the person pronounces an s , t, or z sounds in the public words. The result is that the cell phone call sounds normal, but it contains a secret encrypted message in the hiss of the voice. When the goon squads listen to your call, they hear only an innocuous message, but the secret message is there, not as a digital code, but as bursts of hiss in the audio sound. The hiss is indistinguishable from common noise.

In the preferred embodiment, a cryptographically secured side channel is established between two cell phones. Alice talks into hur computer and Bob listens on hur computer. Alice speaks hur secret message while a public audio banter is heard over the cell phone transmission. The hiss on that transmission has bursts of the encrypted live talk of a secret nature while the rest of the audio sound is a public innocuous speech. Bob's cell phone gives its output to Bob's computer, which separates out the secret words from Alice and lets Bob hear only that part. The public banter continues in both directions and Bob can talk about hur secrets by using bursts of hiss when hur innocuous banter is sent in reply.

This conversation can use four people to have the best quality: two have innocuous banter and two people hold a secured conversation that is delivered in bursts of hiss. The people speaking the banter will linger on certain sounds so hisss is extended as long as needed. Training ssesssionssss can help the banter to prolong the hisss into lengthy timesss...ssszzz. One speaker can shush the other with glib accentuationz. Laughter can be used to mask the secret hiss packets.

Error correction would be employed. Packetization with serial numbers for each packet would be included. Check sums in each packet would allow verification of error free transmission. When a check sum fails, the packet is re-transmitted.